AR's busy with volleyball.
I'm staying home with AP & loving it! I've become quite maternally instinctive lately. My heart is "AT HOME". Although, I do love law enforcement - being a Reserve is perfect for my lifestyle & choice to be a "stay-at-home" mom :) After all, AP starts kindergarten next fall.
College is going great. Just taking 2 classes this semester (Am. Lit and Am. Govt).
Accepted invitation to Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society this last Monday! Yay!! I'm a PTK!!
Reading "Don't Let Jerks Get You Down" & while doing so, I've realized how cruel I've been treated by past supervisors & co-workers (you know - the people we're supposed to COUNT on?).
Yesterday, I drafted a letter to send to about a handful of those evil people. I'm debating whether or not to actually mail it to them (or e-mail).
Here's the letter:
Scars sometimes need stitches to heal. These letters are my stitches (closure) so I can heal & continue my tasks here, where I’ve been treated very fairly & with due respect. Maybe I’m looking back & thinking, “What was WRONG with them???? Why did they CHOOSE to be so hateful & back-biting????”
The following names, to which this is addressed, are categorized by color.
Bob W.
Gary Y.
W___ DEU
...including, but certainly not limited to
Frank T.
Dennis S.
Jerry G.
Danny L.
JoAnn
Linda P.
Barbara O.
Linda V.
Gary H.
Ronnie P.
If this is the only statement you read, that’d be just as well. Consider it all things in a nutshell:
Someday, I hope, someone treats your DAUGHTER, SISTER, WIFE, and/or MOTHER, the way you treated me.
The whole time you were hell-bent on harassing me, permitting a hostile work environment & attempting to destroy my image, my self-worth, you missed out on the loyalty & dedication I had for the department.
I lived with lies, jealousies, and all-out back-stabbing & you were either part of it, or allowed it.
You forgot that I was someone’s DAUGHTER, SISTER, WIFE, & MOTHER. You never once took the time to consider how you’d feel if your daughter came home crying because their boss is making life miserable. Or, a co-worker was constantly harassing her. Or, someone in the office was blatantly rude & gossiped about her.
So, when your wife comes home hurt because some woman at work is so eaten up with jealousy that her hatefulness is like fiery darts into your wife’s heart & the open rudeness is embarrassing because she does it in front of others….
Or, when your daughter comes home crying to you because people are constantly insulting & degrading her…
Or, when your mom calls & tells you that she’s being demeaned & back-stabbed by people she thought she could trust…
Or, your sister comes to your house & cries that she doesn’t know how much more of the harassment she can take…
And, you hurt inside because you love her…
You’ll remember me.
As God as my witness, you’ll think of me & the way you treated me.
And what you did and/or allowed was illegal, unethical, immoral, and shameful.
Although, considering the source, I wouldn’t count on the “shameful” part. Shame has a conscious.
Funny how the little circle in M____ County is so buddy-buddy; judgmental, and quick to stereotype (forgot your cultural diversity class?), yet up here I have been accepted & welcomed for who I am.
It seems people in your neck of the woods can’t see past your own insecurities…or that of their spouses..? You know very well that I was nice/polite/cordial to your spouses, only to be snubbed by her, and then the next day at work treated like crap by YOU.
After being in this for many years, I've accepted what was REALLY going on.
But, being a natural optimist, I remained hopeful. My thanks to you & your spouses for bashing that.
Sometime around 1999 or so, a supervisor told me, “You’re young, you’re attractive, you’re good at what you do & the guys just don’t like it. It’s a problem THEY have.”
I found that their (YOUR) problems & insecurities were taken out on me.
Oh, by the way: I’m very successful & active in the community here.
I have returned to college, maintaining about a 4.0 & have recently been accepted in the Phi Theta Kappa National Honor Society; and, am a supervisor. What a change it is to work for people who actually appreciate me.
And, as time goes on, I’m learning that I’m really “safe” here. When my superiors (a title they actually deserve) say “I’ve got your back…” or “I’m here if you need to talk…have problems, etc” they actually mean it.
However, it’s taken me a while to believe that. Reminds me of a child who’s been verbally degraded on a daily basis, then later has a hard time trusting people or believing that she has any self-worth at all.
You soured me to a career in which I had/have great potential. Why?
Thankfully, I’ve realized that not every department are like the ones I’ve worked for in the past (just the ones in W_____ area, of course).
M_________ County departments, with their Law Enforcement Ethics framed on the wall, & attending of Cultural Diversity & Sexual Harassment classes could learn a thing or two from those who actually have integrity.
No, I’m not a saint. But, I have readily admitted my wrongs & justifiably defended the wrongs done to me…but, none of you cared or listened - you assumed & your little selfish, self-serving assumptions were incredibly & ridiculously wrong. But, hey - it was something to pad the file with, right?
For you who are non-law enforcement: Well, just take everything I just said & replace any law enforcement vocabulary with your name. That’d be just fine. I know the remarks you made & remember phone calls, snide comments: “She is NOT a police officer” - which was an insane comment because I was STILL a police officer; or how about “Don’t call Serena, she doesn’t know what she’s doing”…and I laugh in your face - both of them (considering you are 2-faced).
You should be ashamed of yourselves, calling yourselves Christians, leaders (HA!), a brotherhood (which I learned to mean that if one of you backstabs someone, the other one picks up a knife, too) etc.
But then, I wouldn’t expect that kind of humility or admission of wrong-doing from people like you. Fine - go to your deathbed with it.
So, I’ve said my peace & can now wipe that nasty, filthy, bloody slate clean.
This is the topical antibiotic & stitching. I will heal. You, on the other hand, can live daily with your ugly, evil attitude & will reap what you’ve sown.
So, should I send it, or not?
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